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Don’t…be in a rush. It takes time for a relationship to develop. Get to know the person and take note of any red flags or signs that the person you’re dating isn’t up for a long-term relationship. If it doesn’t feel right, move on. Remember your self-worth and find something more compatible. Do…take time to think about your absolutes when it comes to relationships. Use this to focus on someone that has qualities you are looking for when dating. Do…love yourself. The first step to finding love is loving yourself. Be confident and appreciate how amazing you are. Do that and it will reflect to others. Believe in yourself, believe in the beauty of love, and believe the right person is out there for you.
There are a lot of reasons we stick around with people we know are not good for us. Maybe they’re a security blanket, maybe we’re lonely, or maybe we’re seeking external approval. But no matter the reason the wrong person is in your life, as soon as you realize they’re not the one for you, that should be the end of it, not the beginning of the end. Now, if you have a friend with benefits (you don’t have feelings for) or love flirty-texting that hot coworker, you do you, girl. But those people you go to out of loneliness, comfortability, or insecurity? They’re just holding you back. Know what you deserve, be honest with yourself, and don’t settle. Bonus tip: Unfollow on social media. Just do it!
In reality, just being nice to a girl you like doesn’t convert her into your girlfriend magically. Don’t nurse fantasies of dating a girl while sticking around her and doing nice things hoping to get noticed. The best route to take – coupled with being nice to her – is to ask her out on a proper date. Let her know how you feel about her. This will let her know that you’re not just around her for casual friendship. If you don’t do this, there’s a high probability you’ll end up in the friendzone. Dating apps are convenient because they remove all the anxiety it takes to work up to a woman, build friendship, and ask her out on a date. But that convenience can quickly become addicting. And this isn’t a good thing for several reasons.
Communicate your preferences: Share your needs and preferences early. Many times, people are concerned they will appear “needy” or “high-maintenance.” No, you are setting expectations. If your work requires you to be on virtual calls most of the day and you cannot text or call during the day, communicate this and let the other party know when you are available. If you prefer daily check-ins, even just a little text to say hi, let the person know. Are you punctual? Express your appreciation for being on time to dates. Are you constantly running late? Give your date a heads up and apologize in advance.
Next up: Playing hard to get or waiting for the other person to make the first move. Besides outdated gender roles, these “rules” come from the idea that whoever cares less in the relationship is the one who has the most power. But should love be about power? It’s OK to care; we’re supposed to care about each other. So what does it matter if you “come on too strong” or “care more?” Be true to your feelings and what you want. Oh, and making the first move can save us a lot of time wondering if they like us back.
Ditch the loser who doesn’t make you happy. Newsflash: If the person you’re with constantly disappoints you, consistently can’t meet your needs, or refuses to commit to you, it’s time to cut them loose. Hanging on to someone who isn’t making you happy because you’re hoping they’ll suddenly change is going to waste a lot of your precious time — time you could spend meeting and getting to know someone who is a good fit for you. You’ll never meet “the one” if you’re hung up on the wrong one. So, as they say — out with the old and in with the new. Breaking up is hard to do, but trust me on this one: the only regret you’ll have when looking back is that you didn’t split sooner.
Narcissists and controlling personalities very often like to lock things down ASAP — because they like to dictate the pace, they thrive on the thrill of making you swoon over them, and fast-tracking intimacy means they get what they want out of you sooner. Unfortunately, when you get in too deep too fast, you don’t have a chance to see who they really are before committing. Then, three months in, when you have your first argument, it may become crystal clear that they’re not only completely different than the person who swept you off your feet but probably incapable of forming a healthy bond. The lesson here? Slow and steady wins the race. Anyone worth being with will be willing to wait for those feelings to grow. By taking your time in dating, you’re allowing yourself the opportunity to get to know all facets of the other person — not just the ones they want you to see — before making any decisions about your future.